There are few things nicer as a parent than knowing what you are getting when you walk into the movie theater with your children: you know the characters, you know it’s appropriate, and you know you will have a great movie-going experience. It shows that parents’ love for their child can know no bounds, and will make you laugh out loud several times.
#WATCH FINDING DORY GORILLAVID PLUS#
It has most of the beloved characters from the original film, plus some sweet and hilarious new ones. With all that said, I highly recommend that those who are not in my position of being a foster or adoptive parent go see this movie with their children. Home for them right now is not where their biological parents are, and it won’t be for some time. It’s something they know, but not something we talk about all the time. For my two foster children, they can’t go home merely because they want to. These are the main themes running throughout the film, and because of Dory’s short-term memory loss they are repeated constantly. The biggest issue I had with the film for my foster children, and why I won’t be taking them to see the film, is the overarching theme that when you decide you want to go home you can, and that home is where your biological parents are. Second, it can cause them further anxiety and worry by telling them their current home may not be permanent either.
First, it could give them the false hope that such an ending could happen for them, when it is often not the case. For a foster or adoptive child, this ending can be terribly confusing in two ways. Once they are all reunited, Dory and her parents travel back to Nemo and Marlin’s home, where they all live together happily ever after. Many of their birth parents are not looking for them, and a movie like “Finding Dory” can create a dangerously false image in the hearts and minds of the sweet children in our care. This fairy-tale image risks harming the fragile mental state of children who have been neglected or abandoned by their birth parents. This perfect reunion filled with affection and joy is far too often not the case for most children in the foster-care system. They tell her how they have stayed in the same spot and laid out shells leading to their home all these years (shown throughout the flashbacks to help her find her way home) hoping that she would return to them. When reunited, they immediately drop what they are doing and rush to embrace Dory. For Some Kids, Home and Parents Are Not SafeĪt the end of the film we find Dory’s birth parents were physically, emotionally, and mentally stable and actively seeking to find her. When terrible things happen to them and their families, this feeling only intensifies. When bad things happen to them, they aren’t capable of understanding that it’s not their fault. The film repeatedly blames Dory for the fact that she has been separated from her parents, which would destroy the hard work we put into dismissing that narrative in the minds of our foster and adoptive children.Īll children inhabit their own little worlds, of which they are the absolute center. We never, ever want these children to feel as if it is their fault that they were removed from their homes and biological parents. Dory repeatedly says the phrase “I lost my family,” and later in the film expresses fear about seeing her parents again because she assumes they are angry at her for losing them.įoster parents go to great lengths to make it clear to the children in our care that it is in no way their fault that they are in foster care. It May Be Dory’s Fault, But It’s Not YoursĪnother major issue with the film is that Dory’s separation from her birth parents is portrayed as her fault-technically, the fault of her condition of short-term memory loss. Their “normal” is tragic, and reminding them of that only makes it worse. For them, thoughts of mom, dad, and home can trigger intense feelings of fear, confusion, and anger. These kids have been neglected, abandoned, or abused by the very people who are supposed to give them unconditional love. They might wonder “Why don’t I have memories like that?” or “Do my parents love me?” Sadly, these are things most children in foster care either cannot or will never have. This aspect of the film can be difficult for those of us who are parenting children who have experienced trauma and have witnessed terrible things in their short little lives. They reassure her of how much they love her, and there is constant affection. In her vivid memories of her childhood, her parents call her “Cupcake” and work diligently to help her cope with and adapt to her short-term memory loss. These memories are filled with smiles, hugs, and important life lessons. Throughout the movie, Dory has flashbacks to her childhood. I will not, however, let my foster children see this movie, and if you are a foster or adoptive parent I highly recommend you have a frank discussion with your children about some important topics broached in the movie.
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